To Celebrate or Nah

Welcome back, I know I have only blogged twice this year with this time being the second lol. Life has been busy and honestly, when life is great I have a hard time blogging. When life is “life-ing”, I also have a hard time blogging if it aint my business to tell. I have no problem sharing my life, but other people's lives it isn't my place to blog about.  So then blogs become far and in between. Anyhow, here I am with an update on my life and constant pursuit of happiness. Mayson turned 8 at the end of August and he wanted a birthday party so bad, but I wasn't feeling it. I know so selfish of me. I could not quite put my finger on why I couldn't get excited about my baby's birthday, or get enough energy to put together his party. We did celebrate him we had a little family get-together with our closest family members, and we took him to main event to celebrate with just us. However, if you have ever met Mayson you know that he is his father's child and he is very social. Your boy wanted to invite his whole class over for a party. Hell, now that I am typing this maybe this is why I was not excited LOL! His birthday came and went and I was praying he would forget about a party, but deep down I felt bad. On September 1st I immediately recognize part of the reason I couldn't get excited, and why I didn't know before then I am not sure. It was the anniversary of my uncle's death. I have written about it before as I was giving birth to Mayson my Uncle was dying. I didn't even get to go to the funeral because I had a c- c-section and couldn't fly to California. I was grieving. So as Melody's birthday approached she was SUPER excited about her party, and I started making plans. It hit me that Mayson would be jealous. I try really hard not to have him feeling like the middle child and being left out of things. I decided we would have two parties, one to celebrate both Mayson and Melody. His birthday may have been in August but it is never to late to celebrate life! Now Mayson did not invite his whole class, he got 10 invitations and that was that. Also, I had the party on a Monday which was a holiday so not everybody was off but school was out. (Parent hack lol) Mayson partied like it was 1999 and he got gifts and was excited to be celebrated. They each had their own cake one regular vanilla cake with my little ponies and one sugar cookie cookie cake with an art paint pallet on it. It's crazy because I turn 40 next week and I have been saying all year I wanted this BIG party knowing good and damn well I don't. Now I don't know what I want to do. I really enjoy just being home with my kids and my husband having Nerf wars. Now it's about to get cold outside we are about to be in the backyard with the fire pit eating marshmallows and singing karaoke. However, for my BIRTHDAY I need to do something that is me; but of course, I am complicated. I am too old to be clubbing. I think dinner is blah, not knocking people who do it, it's just not me. Also, I don't want to tell people last minute, so I am probably not going to do anything. I am just blessed to have people that love me and want to celebrate me whatever that looks like, and I am excited for it. Anyhow whenever you decide to celebrate yourself be like Mayson, two months later enjoying your best life! Tomorrow isn't promised so celebrate today! 

One Love,

D'Que