Ghosted

Welcome back, welcome back welcome back! HAPPY NEW YEAR! Yes, I know it's April! I haven't blogged since last October; not that I didn't have stuff to blog about. I have just been super busy! I am going to have to start blogging more or else I am paying for the website and domain for nothing. Anyway, let's get into it. I turned 40 this year, and I have been doing a lot of reflecting. I remember when my parents turned 40, and now it is my turn and I feel weird. My brother turned 40 almost seven years ago and even that felt weird to me. Time is flying by like nobody's business. As I reflect, I think about my current relationships and how much they all mean to me. A few years ago I said all the people who were with me were going to be with me the rest of my life.Little did I know that January 1, 2023, would be the last time that I talked to one of my friends that I had been friends with in 2014. We said Happy New Year at midnight or a few minutes later, and then nothing. Days later I texted, called, sent smoke signals, and even messaged her sister on FB still nothing for few weeks. I started to call her job but then I realized I was blocked on Instagram. My first reaction was what did I do? Then I realized some sometimes you don't have to do anything to people, you either grow apart or it is just time for the friendship to end. Also, I can't make a person be friends with me. For whatever reason she was done with the friendship, but I cannot lie I was triggered. In college one of my closest friends and I stopped speaking and while it was kinda of mutual very similar one day were super cool next day neither of us called each other again. We have since talked out our differences and while we are no longer friends, that friendship breakup hurt. I haven't been the same person since. I am very protective about who I let into my space and life. I don't share good news or bad news with everyone. I am very guarded. It's hard for me to trust, and I have abandonment issues. My brother leaving for college really messed me up. He was my best friend, and at a time when cell phones weren't really a thing we hardly talked because he was living his college life and playing ball. I was in 6th grade. While he didn't really abandon me I felt like it for a while. Every time he would come home for a visit we would have the best time or I would hardly see him because he was catching up with local friends, but as soon as he left I cried. Literally every time. Present day my brother is still one of my best friends. We talk every day, multiple times a day, and I love the man he is to his family. When he left for college he didn't leave me, he went to create the life he was meant to live for himself, and I learned to accept that.

As time has gone by I realized that it was time for our friendship to be over. This has allowed me to become better friends with my husband. Our relationship has been able to get stronger because things that I would normally chit chat with her about I now do with him, and he enjoys it. I would be lying if I didn't say that I don't miss her, I do like real bad. Picking out glasses last week almost brought me to tears because I used to send her pictures of all the glasses I was considering and she would narrow it down for me. I'm not sending Myon any glasses. While he wouldn't mind helping there are just some things you need another woman's opinion on. After she blocked me I laughed because she's a Capricorn and apparently this is Capricorn behavior. We would always talk about her doing this to other people, and for some reason, I thought I was exempt. I wasn't, and because I am so protective over my heart I then removed her from my blog listing. I just don't think it is fair you get to look into my life, and I don't get to see any of yours or share in your life. I don't know if that is scar tissue or protection either way I am standing on that one.What's the lesson here? The lesson is that people will come, and go and you don't have to do anything to them. It is ok. Just like business some customers will be repeat customers, and some will come try you out and it is just not a place or service for them and that is ok. You will outgrow people and some people will no longer feel as though you hold a place in their life. While friendship breakups can hurt just as bad as a lovers breakup or being ghosted know that you are enough, and God will fill the void in other ways. Every time I lose something I always bounce back better than before, and so will you.

One Love,

D'Que

PS He picked out the glasses 🤓😂