The Lie Anxiety Told Me

As I have told you before I have dealt with anxiety for a very long time. If you read my last blog I talk about being in the running to review Rachel Hollis' new book "I Didn't See That Coming". Anxiety told me I wasn't good enough. Anxiety told me that the 27 members I have on this blog aren't enough. Anxiety told me that the 271 followers I have on my Instagram page are a joke. Anxiety told me that I am a nobody, and there was no way I would be chosen.

I began doubting myself and this blog so I did something that was completely out of my comfort zone. I spent 3 hours recording a 53-second video trying to gain more followers and gave an elevator pitch to Rachel Hollis. I thought the more followers I had the better chance I had. Let's be honest 27 followers on a blog is ok, but it's not grand! I applied the work that therapy has taught me. I applied every Rachel Hollis, Mel Robbins, Sarah- Jakes Roberts, and any other great woman's teaching I have learned these past few years. I looked anxiety dead in its face, and I told it that it was a liar! I even had enough confidence to post the video in places I normally would've been too afraid to post in. See before I would have not been able to sleep and had several anxiety attacks waiting on the response. I would have checked my emails 1,000 more times than I already do. (I hate that little red number above my email) The night that I created and posted the video I slept like a baby.

The next day I went into work for a few hours and had forgotten all about it being Friday. I just randomly check my email and there it was..... an email from Shannon ( Community Engagement Manager for the Hollis Company). I had also prepared in my mind what I was going to write to you guys had I not been chosen. I really was ok with the rejection, but the email said welcome now I am really confused. I quickly read that they chose me, and I text Myon, " Holy Smokes Batman I am going to review the book!"

I wish I could tell you that I was excited for the rest of the day, but I wasn't. Later that night anxiety came back and said it was an accident. Wrong person. Rachel is pissed cause she saw my video, and how dare I ask her to be on her review team. Anxiety told me I wasn't going to be allowed in the Facebook group. So again, I had to get a grip on this thing and say its all a LIE. Anxiety is the biggest liar! It has been lying to me for years, and I believed it. I believed I didn't deserve more. I believe that I wouldn't get chosen for anything. I believed after my cheerleading career there was nothing else for me. I believed I was the lost soul who would be nothing. Guys, it was all a lie.

Here's the real kicker. Shannon nor Rachel saw the video before I was chosen. Shannon saw the video AFTER I was chosen. Isn't that something? She didn't choose me because here's this girl that had so much drive that she made a video pitching herself. Something about me they saw and liked for me just simply being who I am. I had no idea that in the group made for more me commenting and interacting with people would land me on the launch team. I was just being me. I was enough. I am enough and so are you friend. Let's crush these dreams because honestly, they are just waiting on us!

D'Que