Sibling Love

As I write this it's national sibling day, but by the time this is published it would have passed, however, I think it is important to talk about sibling relationships today. When I was born my brother was 7- years- old. The world as he knew it was turned upside down or I guess he could've been really excited to be a big brother. I just knew his life drastically changed. A few years after I was born my parents had separated, and my mom went through depression. It is not my story to tell so I keep this part brief. My mom was depressed so a lot of the time it was just my brother and me. He pretty much did everything for me. When my parents did get back together we kind of just kept the same energy amongst the two of us. It was just me and him against the world. He took me under his wing, and boy did we soar. From birth until 5th grade I was pretty much Jayson's shadow. It never felt like we were so far apart in age, but then he graduated from high school and moved to Fort Collins, Colorado. I remember the day he left like it was yesterday actually thinking about it right now still makes me tear up. In 1996 there were no social media or cell phones for us to keep in touch so it was a landline, snail mail, or nothing. I honestly think this is when I started on a decline in my confidence. The person that had always poured so much into me was gone. It felt like he had vanished. It had never just been me and my parents. I didn't know how to navigate life with just those two. My parents are totally different from one another and I felt so misunderstood. The person who had shown me how to do life was thousands of miles away, and because he played basketball he wasn't just a phone call away he was always busy. I felt abandoned, but I also understood that he needed to live his life. This is when I begin counting down the days until I too would graduate and to would leave the house. Don't get me wrong my parents were great, I just always felt like the black sheep. Then it happened. Somehow him being away actually made us closer. When he did come home for a visit our time together seemed more precious. Even though he made his rounds around the city (my brother is definitely an extrovert) he always seemed to make time for his little sister. He always brought home a gift just for me. Over time I got used to the new normal and actually didn't mind him being away as much. I finally found my cassette tape that he had hidden from me because I played it too much. I got the bigger room, and I begin to enjoy the perks of being the only child at home.

Fast forward to adulthood. I honestly don't think we've lived in the same city since 1996. He moved back to Tyler for a brief period, but that seemed like what was a few months. We take turns visiting each other before the pandemic, and with all the technology and apps our relationship is thriving. We definitely don't always see eye to eye on everything, but we communicate effectively. 8 times out of 10 if one of us is calling the other it is me calling him. I actually don't mind this at all. I understand my brother has his own family, a job, and he is a mentor to many teen kids. Things get complicated between siblings, but we've always managed to keep it simple. I take on the role of calling to check in he takes on the role of keeping the conversation flowing, and making sure I am reaching my goals. I have learned that not all siblings have the type of relationship Jay and I have so I know it's a blessing. I thank God for it. I also make sure a nurture it. There are times in our relationship I feel like I am the older sibling and he allows me to boss him around. I like those times plus it's the least he can do since he stole all the height out of the womb. Then he reminds me he left the hair gene for me and retakes the role of the older sibling. Our relationship is so far from perfect, but I believe that's what makes it so beautiful. If you have a sibling that you haven't spoken to in a while I encourage you to reach and shoot the breeze with them. Sibling relationships are important. Even if the person isn't your blood sibling call the friend that is more like a sibling than your actual sibling those relationships are important too. Take some time to nurture those precious relationships when your down and out those will be the ones to keep you going.

One Love,

D'Que