Hard Decisions

Myon and I had to make a hard decision. I have struggled with the decisions for a while, but we finally decided to send our oldest back to public school. I struggled with it because, from previous experience, we didn't have anyone advocating for him. I didn't want to go back down that path. I also wasn't progressing him the way I felt I should while homeschooling either. I have dealt with so much mom guilt about this. Am I failing him by keeping him home, am I failing him by sending him back, what if this, and what if that. At first, I would wake up in the middle of the night with panic attacks from fear of making the wrong decisions. After a much-needed talk with my therapist, I realized that whatever decision I make will be ok. There are so many brilliant people that come through public school systems, and there are equally brilliant people that are homeschooled. There are times that I feel like my lack of planning is rubbing off on him and that school gives him the structure that he needs. I finally decided that school was the best place for him right now. As I learn more about my own personal anxiety issues I realize that its the unknown that stresses me the most. So, I have begun to go down the path of what if. I ask myself what if the worst possible thing that I can imagine in a situation happens? What do I do next? Then ok what if that, then I will do this. Before I know it I have a plan! If my worst nightmare happens then this is the plan and I can then let go of the anxiety and begin the preparations for whatever happens. I then make a decision based on which plan I can live with the most, based on that decision. Even if that plan fails I already have a backup plan. This helps me for the most part. What are some hard decisions you had to face, and how did you make the decision?