Coulda shoulda woulda

As Hurricane Ida approached Baton Rouge, Louisiana, I watched closely to see how it would affect Houston. Then I got a call from a mom whose son is in his freshman year at LSU. They don’t deal with hurricanes so I said I’ll go get him. Baton Rouge is 4 hours from me, so it would be an 8-hour trip no problem. We discussed me leaving and I said man I'm tired I’ll just leave Saturday morning and I can be back by Saturday late afternoon. Well, I completely forgot how hectic the evacuation process can be! I just wasn’t thinking. So I woke up Saturday morning, gathered the kids and we headed straight for Baton Rouge. All was going well until I hit the Texas Louisiana border, then it hit me like a ton of bricks. I looked over at I-10 West and cars are stacked and packed. I panicked. Getting back home wasn’t going to be so easy. All the PTSD of the evacuation from Hurricane Rita came flooding back to me. It took me 8 hours to get to Tyler. That’s normally a 3.5-hour drive. It was bumper-to-bumper traffic for 8 long hours all while driving like 10-30 mph. I called Myon frantically explaining the situation and telling him he needed to find me an alternate route. I was not sitting in that traffic with three kids. Driving already gives me anxiety, but road tripping with three kids and a college student while a hurricane is coming!!! My body can’t take that!

At this point, I’m beating myself up thinking why didn’t I come the night before. I should’ve just come last night. Then I had the realest revelation: coulda, shoulda, woulda will not serve me at this moment. I am now in this situation how can I get out of it. Myon was so patient with me. I swear if anybody saw my face at that moment I was white as snow because fear, anxiety, and panic all had taken over. I knew that I was not going to just turn around and leave him, but I also knew that this was not the journey I thought it was going to be. Myon found me a route that took me completely out of the way but it missed all of the terrible traffic. I drove further into Louisiana out to Mississippi cut back across the top of Louisiana into Texas. It took me 14 hours to get to East Texas where my parents live. I stayed the night and left the following day to go back home. We were in the car for a total of 18 hours. I am so grateful I got him, and we had a great time. I am more grateful for this lesson that I can now share with y’all. Stop telling yourself you coulda, shoulda, woulda. It DOES NOT SERVE YOU!!!! You need to face what is in front of you right now at this moment, and what you coulda, shoulda, woulda will not help you. Use that for the next time, but for right now how do you go forward?

One Love,

DQue